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June 2006

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Subject:
From:
Ben Varner <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 12 Jun 2006 22:40:31 -0600
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The following are fifteen so-called grammar and punctuation
"rules" which are not rules at all.  When I sent this list to
the elementary school teachers whom I teach about grammar and
punctuation, they were astounded:

     1. Never use "Because,""And," or "But" to start a sentence.
     2. Fragments are always considered an error in writing.
     3. Where you pause, put a comma.
     4. Where you breathe, put a comma.
     5. Never put a comma before "and" in a series.
     6. The semicolon is an outdated mark of punctuation.
     7. The most important part of speech is the noun.
     8. The pronouns "everybody," "somebody," "anybody" are plural.
     9. The pronoun "who" is always first, and the pronoun "whom" is
        always last.
    10. Dashes and hyphens are interchangeable marks of punctuation.
    11. Periods and commas can go inside or outside of quotation marks.
    12. Never end a sentence with a preposition.
    13. Never split an infinitive.
    14. Passive voice means you are too casual in your sentences.
    15. Grammar checkers on computers are usually correct.

If you have any others to add, let me know.

        Ben Varner

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