Scott,
I agree that your version is better than my two options. I needed
to come up with an example that had some "given" information to show how
given at the end of a clause feels awkward. Cutting out the given solves
the problem, but would have made my point impossible.
Often, including the given is more functional. "Give me liberty or
death" doesn't work as well as the redundant form: "Give me liberty or
give me death." In the famous version, liberty and death get equal weight.
Sometimes, what follows matters.
"We are gathered here today because of a fiscal crisis. Revenues are
down and costs are rising rapidly." "Fiscal crisis" at the end of the
first sentence leads into the detail of the second. These may seem like
mild choices, but over the course of a whole text, they improve
readability dramatically.
I like the idea of the asterisk. Choice should be functionally driven.
Craig
On 4/15/2011 9:46 AM, Scott Catledge wrote:
> I find Craig's sentence to be awkward in either form. I would have said,
> "People are abandoning their homes, in part, because they are worth less
> than they owe." As far as punctuation, out Freshman English classes had
> exercises on the topic: one punctuation error studied took 15 points off the
> weekly theme score; two took 30 and 70 was the lowest passing score. We
> were taught formal American English spelling and punctuation and were
> expected to use both in themes. If we chose to do otherwise we would mark
> our
> error with an asterisk after the error. Once in an argumentive theme that
> egotists never cheated, I wrote
> "More credible a blasphemous priest than a dishonest egotist!*"To make that
> a complete sentence would have weakened it. We were allowed to violate any
> rules of composition as long as we put an asterisk to indicate that we knew
> better.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of ATEG automatic digest system
> Sent: Friday, April 15, 2011 12:00 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: ATEG Digest - 13 Apr 2011 to 14 Apr 2011 (#2011-81)
>
> There are 11 messages totalling 9485 lines in this issue.
>
> Topics of the day:
>
> 1. Because? Awkward? Nah
> 2. Punctuation question
> 3. ATEG Digest - 13 Apr 2011 (#2011-80)
> 4. Punctuation Question (7)
> 5. Article of potential interest
>
> To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface
> at:
> http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html
> and select "Join or leave the list"
>
> Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:32:51 -0400
> From: Craig Hancock<[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Re: Because? Awkward? Nah
>
> This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
> --------------060809030403010905030002
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=windows-1252; format=flowed
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
> X-MIME-Autoconverted: from 8bit to quoted-printable by
> mail-fe1.its.albany.edu id p3ECWpN6015159
>
> Geoff,
> I believe I gave an example in my reply to Peter.
> "People have been abandoning their homes. In part because their=20
> homes are worth less than they owe, they are doing so."
> "People have been abandoning their homes. They are doing so, in=20
> part, because their homes are worth less than they owe."
> The first one seems awkward to me because the main clause is=20
> entirely given information.
> If YOU believe opening with a because clause creates awkwardness,=20
> why are you relying on us for examples? I believe that's what confused=20
> us (and frustrated you.)
> It's more an issue of discourse than of strict syntax. The above=20
> example works (for me) because decisions should fit the discourse=20
> situation. Given and new are part of that.
>
> Craig
>
> To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at:
> http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html
> and select "Join or leave the list"
>
> Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/
To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at:
http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html
and select "Join or leave the list"
Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/
|
