Johanna,

I was trying to find a way to express my preference for the name as
subject and pronoun in the topic structure, and you've done that nicely.
You're right that this sort of topic-comment structure is one that shows
up often with inexperienced writers, but it's also one that is more
difficulty to explain and guard against if you don't have vocabulary and
concepts, like topic, comment, and subject, to work with, not to mention
pronoun and antecedent.

Herb


Subject: Re: Syntax question

"In Hrothgar's speech to Beowulf, he gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame."

It's interesting to know that the prohibition on this kind of cataphor 
is invented. I would object to the sentence on stylistic grounds. The 
two potential male antecedents should be avoided, even though the 
context makes clear which one "he" refers to. Apart from that, my 
problem with the sentence is that the sentence is a typical 
topic-comment structure. These occur with annoying frequency in the 
writing of my students. I believe they are an instance of speech-like 
structure being transferred to writing. Students tend to spread 
information out over the clause more than is necessary for a reader. A 
more-compact structure would be

"In his speech to Beowulf, Hrothgar gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame."  or

"Hrothgar, in his speech to Beowulf, gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame."

Both of these place the proper name in subject position, which is 
better stylistically if Hrothgar is the current topic.

Similar structures that occur in my students' writing are along the 
following lines:

"In Deborah Tannen's book 'You Just Don't Understand', she claims that 
... "     or, even worse,

"In the book 'You Just Don't Understand', it states that ..."

The "dummy subject" of the latter example just adds words.


Dr. Johanna Rubba, Associate Professor, Linguistics
Linguistics Minor Advisor
English Department
California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo
E-mail: [log in to unmask]
Tel.: 805.756.2184
Dept. Ofc. Tel.: 805.756.2596
Dept. Fax: 805.756.6374
URL: http://www.cla.calpoly.edu/~jrubba

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