In addition to Bob and Jim's article, some insight into this problem can also be found in the following article:
Barton, E., Halter, E., McGee, N., & McNeilley, L. (1998). The awkward problem of awkward sentences. Written Communication, 15(1), 69-98.
Barton et al. made an attempt at classifying such errors into four categories: problems of embedding, problems of syntax shift, problems with parallel structure, and problematic relations between direct and indirect speech. They said the basic problem is an inability to manage clause structure.
Their primary goal was to give teachers a more precise way than the old "awk" to respond to this type of error, and also to suggest pedagogical approaches to helping students overcome these mistakes, which they also do.
Tim
Tim Hadley
Research Assistant, The Graduate School
Ph.D. candidate, Technical Communication and Rhetoric
Texas Tech University
Editor, ATEG Journal
________________________________
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar on behalf of ROBERT YATES
Sent: Wed 10/19/2005 2:19 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Syntax question
Let me second what Herb says about Johanna's observation. We need to add to our terminology topic-comment to understand what developmental writers are doing in these kinds of constructions.
Johanna is absolutely right on the analysis and how ubiquitous such structures are in developmental writing. They also occur with "according to"
According to Rubba, she says ...........................
One of the problems with traditional grammar terms is that none exist to describe this kind of discourse function or other kinds of discourse functions. In the handbooks, such strings are labeled as awkward or as mixed constructions. Such labels represent a judgement from a mature writer and not the purpose these strings have for the developing writer.
Jim Kenkel and I discuss this in this paper:
Kenkel, J. & Yates, R. (2003) A developmental perspective on the relationship between grammar and text. Journal of Basic Writing, 22, 35-49.
In her examples, Johanna says that students "spread information out" in their writing. It would be interesting to speculate on why they might do this. Jim and I suggest there are some mental processing issues going on. The "spreading out" requires less mental processing than the more compact construction a mature writer would use.
Bob Yates
>>> [log in to unmask] 10/19/2005 11:20 AM >>>
"In Hrothgar's speech to Beowulf, he gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame."
It's interesting to know that the prohibition on this kind of cataphor
is invented. I would object to the sentence on stylistic grounds. The
two potential male antecedents should be avoided, even though the
context makes clear which one "he" refers to. Apart from that, my
problem with the sentence is that the sentence is a typical
topic-comment structure. These occur with annoying frequency in the
writing of my students. I believe they are an instance of speech-like
structure being transferred to writing. Students tend to spread
information out over the clause more than is necessary for a reader.
A more-compact structure would be
"In his speech to Beowulf, Hrothgar gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame." or
"Hrothgar, in his speech to Beowulf, gives warning of the corruption of
the desire for fame."
Both of these place the proper name in subject position, which is
better stylistically if Hrothgar is the current topic.
Similar structures that occur in my students' writing are along the
following lines:
"In Deborah Tannen's book 'You Just Don't Understand', she claims that
... " or, even worse,
"In the book 'You Just Don't Understand', it states that ..."
The "dummy subject" of the latter example just adds words.
To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at: http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html and select "Join or leave the list"
Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/
To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at:
http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html
and select "Join or leave the list"
Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/
|
