Like you, Linda, I work with a lot of people in the business community (as well as in the legal and judicial field). They want to know why their MSWord programs put green squiggly lines under every instance of the passive voice. They do not know (1) what the passive voice is or (2) why they are being advised to revise it.
Here is what I tell them:
First, I define the passive voice as a sentence in which the subject of an active verb is also the recipient of that action.
Second, I tell them that it is perfectly fine to use the passive voice (which usually launches a rant about all the other ways that MS Word misleads writers about "problems" in their writing).
Third, I tell them that in many cases it is better to write in the active voice because passive voice sentences frequently fail to give the reader a complete picture. If I read "The cake was baked," the picture in my mind is fuzzy because there is no agent for that action. Good writing seeks to elicit a picture in the reader's mind that matches the picture the writer is trying to convey, and passive voice sentences often relay fuzzier pictures than active voice sentences--not always, but often, and for the writer who is getting a green squiggly line under nearly every verb in a document, this point is worth considering.
Finally, I point out that many business writers use the passive voice to avoid using first-person pronouns--something they were taught to do back when the paradigm for businesseses was to maintain professional distance from the reader. They will write, for example, "Your request has been deinied" or "Your cooperation is appreciated" to avoid saying 'We have denied your request" or "We appreciate your cooperation." It strikes me that sentences such as these last two active voice sentences are more personal (while still being professional), while the first two passive voice constructions seem more institutional and impersonal.
Ed and Craig, do these points reflect a functional approach to language or a group (or personal!) prejudice?
Nancy
---- Linda Comerford <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> In my business writing and grammar workshops, I strongly suggest avoiding
> passive voice when a sentence contains all the components of an active
> sentence. Those are normally the ones ending in a "by" prepositional
> phrase. Since people in the business world are so darn wordy (they tell me
> it's a habit from trying to fill those 500-word theme requirements), I offer
> them the challenge of looking to save 50 cents a word for every unnecessary
> one they use.
>
> So they'd save a dollar by changing the following passive sentence to an
> active one:
>
> Passive: The proposal was proofread by the partner.
> Active; The partner proofread the proposal.
>
> To find such passives, I have them use the Control F ("F" stands for "Find")
> feature in Microsoft Word to find the word "by." They prefer that to having
> their grammar checkers simply indicating "Passive" without always offering
> the active version.
>
> By the way, the Control F technique works for finding any words students use
> too repetitiously. Many struggle with using "that" unnecessarily. Also,
> one of my pet peeves is expletives, so I have my participants search for
> "It" and "There" to identify and then eliminate them.
>
> I hope these tips help all of you too.
>
> Linda
>
> Linda Comerford
> Comerford Consulting
> 317.786.6404
> [log in to unmask]
> www.comerfordconsulting.com <http://www.comerfordconsulting.com/>
>
>
> _____
>
> From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Edgar Schuster
> Sent: Friday, March 07, 2008 2:05 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: past perfect--a final note
>
>
> Craig may well be right about Orwell's sentiments; however, Orwell himself
> near the end of his essay offers a set of six "rules" (the word is his).
> His fourth rule is "Never use the passive where you can use the active." He
> doesn't say "where you can use the active" but not the passive. But he uses
> passives in four of the first 15 sentences of "Politics," and it's not at
> all difficult to substitute actives for each them.
> Hurrah for Craig's "we need a more functional orientation to language so
> that choice can be built on something more than personal or group
> prejudice."
>
> Ed Schuster
>
>
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