Dear Annie and others,
        I don't even know where to begin to talk about this subject.
I find we women are divided on this subject.  You see, there are women who
see themselves as victims and some that see themselves as survivors.  To
me, each heart is a reminder of the strength and empowerment women have
despite everything against them.  To others it is something different.
        You are right rape destroys your self-esteem and makes it hard to
trust anyone.  DId you know that the majority of all rapes commited are by
someone the woman knows.  80% of all rapes are date rapes.  This means the
rapist is someone the woman knew (boyfriend, father, brother, friend).
One in 5 women are raped before age 14 and one in 4 is raped by age 21.
And you raised the point, "the best way to show support is not let
yourself get raped."  How exactly does one not let herself get raped?
That statement upsets me greatly becuase it is NEVER her fault.  And a
woman never  LETS herself be raped.  No matter what she was wearing, no
matter if she has been drinking, even if her boyfriend had the condom
on and they were about to have sex.  NO is NO.  Sometimes, a woman
feels so powerless that she can't even speak...just silence.  Rape is not
about sex, it's about power and control. Let us never forget this..
        You talked about things we can do on campus.  Well, I am in WISE
(Women's Issues STudent Educators) and we are a peer education group that
goes around and talks about women's issues to first-year dorms and
sorrorities and frats.  We talk about a number of important issues like
eating disorders, self-esteem, sexism, gender and communication etc.  The
great thing about this progrma is that we get to talk to hundreds of women
a year.  But honestly, we can talk till we are blue in the face to women
about sexual assault because they are the majority of people who attend.
Women aren't the problem though. Men are raping women 99% of the time.
Actually though, rape is not a woman's problem but a woman's issue.
Rape is a mens problem.  In WISE we are trying desperately to speak to
more men on this campus.  It is only when we help men understand
that rape is wrong that we can eliminate this problem out of society.
        Here is something to think about.  Women, what do you do on a
daily basis to protect yourself from assault?  (walk in pairs,
take self-defense, never walk at night, etc etc.)  Men what do you do to
prevent assault?  I hope something.  Has anyone heard of MAR?  I know of
two members in our community, why aren't there more?
        Do you see how hard it is to fix the problem when we generally
talk to woman who are already protecting themselves every minute of the
day? Men are the ones commiting the rapes in our society.  Look at the
statistics, they are all there.  Also a 1997 FBI statistic says that for
every rape that is reported, 10 go unreported.
        Take Back the NIght is on of the many activities on our campus
that helps survivors of sexual assault.  It gives women a chance to hear
other women's stories and know that they are not alone and that it wasn't
their fault.  It gives men a chance to learn about what they can do to
help.
        The hearts are a problem becasue the vocal women on our campus
(the survivors and men who strongly support these women) are going to be
vocal about the hearts and ask them to be repainted.  The victims on this
campus are going to feel sick about every heart they see.  Honestly, I
don't know what to do.  I personally, like the hearts.  I also sympathize
with the woman who doesn't want the heart there.  I just wish I could
give a "kind word and a hug" to every person.  You see, every human has
this constant reminder of something.  FOr some it may be a song, for some
it may be a place or a name.  The reminder will always be there for rape
too...hearts or no hearts.
        Honestly, I am getting weary of this whole internet thing, so if
anyone wants to talk to me or know more about what they can do
on this campus, please come and see me.  My room is a safe place for
everything. Annie, I am glad to see that there are others in our
community that have a passion for some of the same things that I do.
I also know there are other women out there who need to talk too.  End the
silence and start the eduation.
        Erica