Linda,
It is with the greatest respect that I must disagree with you. Expletives
can be used very effectively to control the emphasis of units of
information--like in my first sentence. I'm more interested though in your
advice to change "There are many reasons why the cafeteria should remain
open beyond 2:00." to "The cafeteria should remain open beyond 2:00 for many
reasons." Without the benefit of context it is impossible to determine which
of these choices are more effective, but given the principle of end-focus,
I'd first assume that the writer had some reason for highlighting the
situation rather than the modifier "for many reasons" in the first version,
but as I said that would depend on the discourse context. Also, "Loving you
is easy." means something different from "You are easy to love." and "It is
easy to love you." By replacing the subject "you" with "loving you", the
subject is a gerund phrase with "loving" as the head and "you" as the
object. Rather than focusing on "you" as being easy to love, the sentence
says the action of "loving you" is easy. To be honest, I probably would not
quibble about this, but my fiancee might, so I would definitely stick to
"you are easy to love" except that I'd want to end with the focus on her, so
I'd actually say "it is easy to love you."
Rob Troyer
On Sun, Mar 9, 2008 at 9:09 PM, Linda Comerford <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Craig,
>
> Regarding one of my pet peeves, "it" and "there" expletives, I'm wondering
> if you would accept "Loving you is easy" as a more streamlined way of
> saying, "It is easy to love you"? I'm fine with your cat-skinning "there"
> expletive.
>
> As I believe you can see from my posts, I try to give those in my one-day
> classes information to help them make informed decisions about their
> writing
> afterwards. If I received 50 cents every time I see folks write sentences
> like, "There are many reasons why the cafeteria should remain open beyond
> 2:00," in my 20+ year career, I'd be rich! To me, such sentences are the
> equivalent of starting a sentence in a presentation with "uh" or "um." My
> theory about expletives is that they start so many sentences because their
> writers often don't know where they want their sentences to go. Writing
> is
> discovery, so those lead-in words give them time to get to their point.
> But
> if they keep the expletive, they often delay the subject until the middle
> of
> the sentence where their readers are more likely to miss it. Instead, I
> offer them the option to start with the subject as in this re-write: "The
> cafeteria should remain open beyond 2:00 for many reasons." Writers and
> readers alike appreciate such streamlined clarity.
>
> That's when my "save 50 cents a word" editorial tip comes into play. My
> participants not only resonate to it but remember it. I've encountered
> folks from one of my classes over 10 years ago tell me they draft without
> regard to wordiness but then revise with that 50-cent idea in mind. Maybe
> with inflation I should up it to $1.00....
>
> Linda
>
>
>
> Linda Comerford
> 317.786.6404
> [log in to unmask]
> www.comerfordconsulting.com
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Craig Hancock
> Sent: Saturday, March 08, 2008 9:43 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: past perfect--a final note
>
>
> Nancy,
> I like the last part of your post the best. You're right; the passive
> does tend to make writing impersonal. That is one reason, though, that it
> shows up so much in scientific discourse. It doesn't matter who heated the
> mixture for seven minutes at four hundred degrees, just that it was done
> and
> can be replicated. (Notice the paasives at the end of the last sentence.)
> Impersonal is not always good, not always bad, but something we can
> benefit
> from noticing.
> I'm not as happy with the idea of "complete picture" because it assumes
> that each and every sentence is a complete and separate statement, not
> tied
> to discourse context or situation. If someone asks "how are you doing with
> preparations for the party," you might very well say "the cake is baked,
> but
> we need to pick up the drinks." The baker of the cake may be already known
> or irrelevant.
> There are functional approaches to language that are highly systematic.
> I think we need a comprehensive understanding of language before we give
> out
> prescriptive rules (the old "first, do no harm" maxim.) I have said on
> list
> many times that I feel a disinterested, primarily descriptive linguistics
> cannot solve the problem. Because people want advice on using language,
> they
> turn to the handbooks. It's hard to blame people for doing that when they
> don't have a practical alternative.
> Linda points out that "it"and "there" are often extra words, but they
> are
> also highly functional ways to extrapose a subject into focal prominence.
> "It is easy to love you." "There's more than one way to skin a cat." Linda
> wants to help, but she is figuring it out for herself on the basis of her
> own thoughtful understanding. It's a daunting task.
> It's not a matter of finding practical ways to use a formal
> understanding, but of recognizing that function is already built in.
> We need to look at how language works. Since effectiveness is context
> specific, we need to look at ways in which language is sensitive to
> context.
> And by "sensitive to context", I don't mean just dialect and social
> register, but interaction and the construction of shared meaning.
>
> Craig
>
> > Like you, Linda, I work with a lot of people in the business community
> > (as well as in the legal and judicial field). They want to know why
> > their MSWord programs put green squiggly lines under every instance of
> > the passive voice. They do not know (1) what the passive voice is or
> > (2) why they are being advised to revise it.
> >
> > Here is what I tell them:
> >
> > First, I define the passive voice as a sentence in which the subject
> > of an active verb is also the recipient of that action.
> >
> > Second, I tell them that it is perfectly fine to use the passive voice
> > (which usually launches a rant about all the other ways that MS Word
> > misleads writers about "problems" in their writing).
> >
> > Third, I tell them that in many cases it is better to write in the
> > active voice because passive voice sentences frequently fail to give
> > the reader a complete picture. If I read "The cake was baked," the
> > picture in my mind is fuzzy because there is no agent for that action.
> > Good writing seeks to elicit a picture in the reader's mind that
> > matches the picture the writer is trying to convey, and passive voice
> > sentences often relay fuzzier pictures than active voice
> > sentences--not always, but often, and for the writer who is getting a
> > green squiggly line under nearly every verb in a document, this point is
> worth considering.
> >
> > Finally, I point out that many business writers use the passive voice
> > to avoid using first-person pronouns--something they were taught to do
> > back when the paradigm for businesseses was to maintain professional
> > distance from the reader. They will write, for example, "Your request
> > has been deinied" or "Your cooperation is appreciated" to avoid saying
> > 'We have denied your request" or "We appreciate your cooperation." It
> > strikes me that sentences such as these last two active voice
> > sentences are more personal (while still being professional), while
> > the first two passive voice constructions seem more institutional and
> impersonal.
> >
> > Ed and Craig, do these points reflect a functional approach to
> > language or a group (or personal!) prejudice?
> >
> > Nancy
> >
> >
> >
> > ---- Linda Comerford <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >> In my business writing and grammar workshops, I strongly suggest
> >> avoiding passive voice when a sentence contains all the components of
> >> an active sentence. Those are normally the ones ending in a "by"
> >> prepositional phrase. Since people in the business world are so darn
> >> wordy (they tell me it's a habit from trying to fill those 500-word
> >> theme requirements), I offer them the challenge of looking to save 50
> >> cents a word for every unnecessary one they use.
> >>
> >> So they'd save a dollar by changing the following passive sentence to
> >> an active one:
> >>
> >> Passive: The proposal was proofread by the partner.
> >> Active; The partner proofread the proposal.
> >>
> >> To find such passives, I have them use the Control F ("F" stands for
> >> "Find")
> >> feature in Microsoft Word to find the word "by." They prefer that to
> >> having their grammar checkers simply indicating "Passive" without
> >> always offering the active version.
> >>
> >> By the way, the Control F technique works for finding any words
> >> students use too repetitiously. Many struggle with using "that"
> >> unnecessarily.
> >> Also,
> >> one of my pet peeves is expletives, so I have my participants search
> >> for "It" and "There" to identify and then eliminate them.
> >>
> >> I hope these tips help all of you too.
> >>
> >> Linda
> >>
> >> Linda Comerford
> >> Comerford Consulting
> >> 317.786.6404
> >> [log in to unmask]
> >> www.comerfordconsulting.com <http://www.comerfordconsulting.com/>
> >>
> >>
> >> _____
> >>
> >> From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
> >> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Edgar Schuster
> >> Sent: Friday, March 07, 2008 2:05 PM
> >> To: [log in to unmask]
> >> Subject: Re: past perfect--a final note
> >>
> >>
> >> Craig may well be right about Orwell's sentiments; however, Orwell
> >> himself near the end of his essay offers a set of six "rules" (the
> >> word is his).
> >> His fourth rule is "Never use the passive where you can use the
> active."
> >> He
> >> doesn't say "where you can use the active" but not the passive. But
> >> he uses passives in four of the first 15 sentences of "Politics," and
> >> it's not at all difficult to substitute actives for each them.
> >> Hurrah for Craig's "we need a more functional orientation to language
> >> so that choice can be built on something more than personal or group
> >> prejudice."
> >>
> >> Ed Schuster
> >>
> >>
> >> **************
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