Well-stated, Craig! I totally
agree. Unfortunately, getting people in the business world to commit to
even one day of training is a challenge. My goals are to help them have a
more effective writing style with their paragraphs, sentences, words, and
formats plus a more efficient writing process. Going beyond some of the
basics would be so wonderful, but the tick-tocking clock simply doesn't permit
it.
Overall during all of my modules, I
emphasize clarity for the participants' various audiences and purposes as the
most important goal. First and foremost, if they can remember they're
writing for someone other than themselves, that gives them a launching pad for
the other skills we've been discussing.
Linda
Linda
Comerford
317.786.6404
Linda,
My cat-skinning sentence is better understood
as "existential"--my error--similar to "It is raining" or "There is plenty of
food." We seem to have a resistance to "be" as intransitive. "More than one good
way to skin a cat exists" would be an alternative.
I think if I
were trying to improve writing in a one-day workshop, wordiness is something I
would target. But we do have to be careful about it. There are very good
functional reasons for extraposition. And I would caution against revising
sentences outside the context of their place in a text and outside the discourse
context. Robert's points seem largely on target.
The larger
point I was hoping to make is that we we need a functional understanding of
language, not just a formal one. We also need goals that are larger than
reducing wordiness. Less wordy texts are often clearer because we have (to quote
the late great Don Murray) "gotten the static out". But that raises clarity to a
goal and makes cutting words a means and not an end.
The
operative question might be "What knowledge about language helps a writer
accomplish his or her own goals." We have to yank the attention away from "what
forms are correct."
Craig
Linda Comerford wrote:
Craig,
Regarding one of my pet peeves, "it" and "there" expletives, I'm wondering
if you would accept "Loving you is easy" as a more streamlined way of
saying, "It is easy to love you"? I'm fine with your cat-skinning "there"
expletive.
As I believe you can see from my posts, I try to give those in my one-day
classes information to help them make informed decisions about their writing
afterwards. If I received 50 cents every time I see folks write sentences
like, "There are many reasons why the cafeteria should remain open beyond
2:00," in my 20+ year career, I'd be rich! To me, such sentences are the
equivalent of starting a sentence in a presentation with "uh" or "um." My
theory about expletives is that they start so many sentences because their
writers often don't know where they want their sentences to go. Writing is
discovery, so those lead-in words give them time to get to their point. But
if they keep the expletive, they often delay the subject until the middle of
the sentence where their readers are more likely to miss it. Instead, I
offer them the option to start with the subject as in this re-write: "The
cafeteria should remain open beyond 2:00 for many reasons." Writers and
readers alike appreciate such streamlined clarity.
That's when my "save 50 cents a word" editorial tip comes into play. My
participants not only resonate to it but remember it. I've encountered
folks from one of my classes over 10 years ago tell me they draft without
regard to wordiness but then revise with that 50-cent idea in mind. Maybe
with inflation I should up it to $1.00....
Linda
Linda Comerford
317.786.6404
[log in to unmask]
www.comerfordconsulting.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
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