I sounded snarky in my last email.  I'm sorry for that.  But you really are arrogantly dismissive of something I teach my students as a mini-lesson but do not require them to do in their essays.  I have seen better writing from them, and it is annoying to have such strong evidence be dismissed without much thought.  I do think you have not thought this through.

Susan


On May 20, 2009, at 7:57 PM, Susan van Druten wrote:

On May 20, 2009, at 1:09 PM, Craig Hancock wrote:
You can certainly make the judgment that Ed's version shows more flexibility on the part of the writer, but it doesn't make it a better essay,

Craig, it's clearly better.  You offer no evidence for why it is worse or even equal.  Own up, dude:  It is clearly better, but, yes, it still sucks.  Your tower is showing.

The rest of your argument is irrelevant.  You are preaching to the choir.  We do know what makes a good essay.  We know that varying sentence starts is not a panacea.

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