In my students' words, "If we get too formal, we have to exclude a
lot of our best sentences."
Good writing is good writing. It's disingenuous to claim errors of
clarity and coherence are okay because you don't want to sound too
formal. Someone who has difficulty rephrasing a parallel structure
error while maintaining a natural tone is someone who is developing
as a writer.
Susan
> From: Susan van Druten [[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 6:31 AM
> To: susan van druten
> Subject: Fwd: Parallel structure and homework; ATEG Digest - 29 May
> 2009 to 30 May 2009 (#2009-129)
>
>
>
> Begin forwarded message:
>
>> From: John Dews-Alexander <[log in to unmask]>
>> Date: June 1, 2009 9:25:36 PM CDT
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: Re: Parallel structure and homework; ATEG Digest - 29 May
>> 2009 to 30 May 2009 (#2009-129)
>> Reply-To: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar
>> <[log in to unmask]>
>>
>> I have to disagree with Susan. I think you're right on the money
>> as usual, Herb. My 11th graders and I have been discussing and
>> working with discourse structures, attempting to "articulate"
>> elements of coherence and rhetorical force. My students have
>> identified (I believe rightfully so) a certain relationship
>> between clarity and "organic" language (we use that to mean
>> natural spoken language or written language styled to feel
>> "natural" and "conversational"): as one's attention to clarity
>> increases, one approaches a threshhold at which the organic
>> quality declines. In my students' words, "If we get too formal, we
>> have to exclude a lot of our best sentences."
>>
>> My goal is for them to see language registers as something other
>> than a concept. I want them to make a connection between register
>> and rhetorical effect, and I think they're making good progress on
>> that discovery. Equipped with functional knowledge of register and
>> its force on composition, the students (in "the plan") will apply
>> it themselves.
>>
>> I'm going to present your passage to them tomorrow, Herb. I want
>> to see what they think about the effect of parallelism in a
>> broader discourse unit. It may fit into their theory. This passage
>> may be perfectly understandable and carry appropriate parallel
>> force at the price of some formal clarity. I agree with you that
>> the appropriateness is entirely dependent on context, but I like
>> to let them make their own judgments.
>>
>> Also, thanks for the "Spiro conjectures Ex-Lax" example! As part
>> of our study of discourse, we've been looking at this very thing
>> -- how discourse context can validate structure (and of course,
>> create meaning). I'm going to use this example in tomorrow's class.
>>
>> John Alexander
>> Austin, Texas
>>
>> On Mon, Jun 1, 2009 at 8:34 PM, Susan van Druten
>> <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>> Heather and her sister Joanne were both afraid of spiders.
>> Heather's fear was offset by her deep sense of compassion for
>> vulnerable creatures. Unlike Heather, who would always put
>> spiders safely outside if she found them in the house, Joanne's
>> fear kept her from going anywhere near the creatures.
>>
>> Hmm, how about this:
>> Unlike Herb, who was unclear about how parallel structure provides
>> clarity of thought, Susan lacked any fear of Herb's credentials
>> because she knew the Emperor had a scarcity of cloth coverage.
>>
>>
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