Dear Xxxxxxx,

 

I can say, "I once knew a man who had a restaurant at the beach on a Greek Island", if he had the restaurant when I knew him. But at the time I knew him, he owned a restaurant in Bethesda.

 

So I need to say, "I once knew a man who had had a restaurant at the beach on a Greek Island".

 

This demonstrates two things. (a) the use of 'had had' is not always wrong, just most of the time, and (b) the past tense is the default for deciding what to do. Try the past tense first and if that doesn't say what you mean, consider the others. You won't find such a rule in the grammar books but it works. If you think not, I challenge you to send me an example in which it does not work.

 

The restaurant thing demonstrates three things, actually, (c) being, I'm not stuttering when I write, ".. a friend who had had ..", even though many are stuttering when they write 'had had'. When used intentionally, the past perfect means something. In this case, it means the difference between Greece and Maryland, which ain't hay.

 

.cheers.brad.02jun10.