I've used many similar headlines over the years, too.  And for the record, My list matches Dick Veit's (it's Reagan, not Clinton, with the budget).
 
Here are a few gems:
 

Drunk gets nine months in violin case

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

Miners refuse to work after death

Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter

Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

 
Enjoy,
 
Paul
 
"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction" (_Twelfth Night_ 3.4.127-128).


From: Dick Veit <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Thu, April 28, 2011 5:08:50 PM
Subject: Re: Syntactic and Semantic humor

As for these being "All verified!" as 1998 headlines, several of them appear on a list I first used in class discussions of ambiguity in the early 1980's. The "verified" headline "Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead" appeared on my sheet as "Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead," attributed to the (Blackfoot, ID) Morning News, from 22 May 1981.

Some others that my students enjoyed are "Teachers Strike Annoying Students," "Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy," "Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly," "Dead Expected to Rise," "Homosexual Loses Boy Scout Suit," and "Columnist gets urologist in trouble with his peers." They were attributed to various newspapers in 1979-1981, but I haven't personally verified their authenticity.

Dick

On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 9:09 AM, Linda Di Desidero <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

Here are some cute headlines to use in grammar lessons, if anyone is interested!

The humor, of course, hinges on several different sorts of grammatical and linguistic concepts...

 

Linda

 

 

BEST "HUMOROUS WITHOUT MEANING TO BE"
NEWSPAPER HEADLINES OF 1998 (All verified!)

1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
11. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout
      Counter
17. War Dims Hope for Peace
18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a
      While
19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
20. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
24. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
25. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


 

________________________________________
Linda Di Desidero, Ph.D.
Director, Communication Studies & Professional Writing
University of Maryland University College
School of Undergraduate Studies
3501 University Boulevard East
Adelphi, MD  20783-8083

College English Association
http://cea.stevensonuniversity.org/

Maryland Communication Association
http://www.marylandcomm.org/

(240) 684-2830 (Department)
(240) 684-2928 (Office)
(240) 684-2995 (Fax)


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