“Awkward” is one of those terms we use to tell student writers that there’s something wrong with their sentence, and we know how to fix it, but we can’t tell them more precisely what makes it wrong. I too would like to see “awkward,” as we use it in teaching writing, defined in terms that we all agree are meaningful. I agree with Martha and Craig that the problem of awkwardness is largely one of discourse, of given vs. new rather than of syntax.
Consider the following passage, which makes use of passive rather than subordination to illustrate awkwardness.
The hunter left his tree stand to follow a herd of deer he saw in the distance. As he approached them stealthily, he saw them browsing along the edge of a meadow where a bull also grazed. He moved to get a good shot, not noticing that the bull was now directly behind the herd. The hunter took aim at a large stag, but just as he fired a coyote spooked the herd and they scattered. (Choose one final sentence: The hunter shot the bull. The bull was shot by the hunter. The bull was shot.)
Arguably they’re all a bit awkward. “The hunter had shot the bull” might work better, but the problem is one of topic. “Hunter” is subject of the previous sentence, but the subject shifts to “herd” by the end of the second clause. Only a rewrite can straighten out the topic/focus problem. This will entail a change in syntax, but that change in syntax is contingent on the change in discourse function.
Herb
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Edgar Schuster
Sent: Thursday, April 14, 2011 11:04 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Punctuation Question
Marshall et al,
Reminds me of a quote from M. B. Parkes, author of "Pause and Effect: An Introduction to the History of Punctuation in the West": "Punctuation is and always has been a personal matter."
And don't you love the fact that the semicolon in Greek is a symbol for a question mark? In Greek, our semicolon represented by the upper part of a colon.
As for introductory subordinate clauses (in English), I opened the nearest-at-hand non-fiction book I had: Its Prologue starts with an "If"-clause. And it's not unusual in the best contemporary writing for authors to punctuate "because" clauses as sentences. Especially if they follow a question.
Thanks, Marshall.
Ed Schuster
On Apr 14, 2011, at 10:43 AM, Myers, Marshall wrote:
Fellow Grammarians,
One of the most frustrating part of teaching writing is that there isn’t just one punctuation system for all types of prose.
Various academic disciplines punctuate different ways. Add to that, that punctuation in the popular media differs even from those in academia. In fact, even within English as a discipline, technical writers punctuate somewhat differently from people writing in literature. To make it even more complex, the British punctuate differently than we do.
Indeed, punctuation rules are very confusing. I try to make my students are of this fact, so except for clarifying meaning in a sentence, I tolerate a wide variety of punctuation styles.
Marshall
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Spruiell, William C
Sent: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 7:12 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Punctuation Question
Crystal:
“It can create an awkwardly structured sentence if not done correctly” applies to pretty much any construction, I’d think; it ends up being circular. The issue is whether initial because-clauses are more frequently awkward than non-initial ones. I suspect they’re not, although getting some kind of outside measurement of that would be a fun headache (“Anybody got an automatic tagging program for awkwardness? Anybody?”). Given the danger of confirmation bias in this kind of endeavor, one thing we probably should not rely on is intuitive judgments about how often-misused a construction, or item, is.
--- Bill Spruiell
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Crystal Edmonds
Sent: Wednesday, April 13, 2011 4:10 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Punctuation Question
Geoff and TJ,
I am not discouraging students to begin a sentence with the conjunction "because." It is not incorrect but it can create a awkwardly structured sentence if not done correctly.
C. Edmonds, Chair
Associate in Arts
English and Humanities
Robeson Community College
PO Box 1420
Lumberton, NC 28359
(910) 272-3700 ext. 3362
(910) 272-3328 (fax)
[log in to unmask]
RCC 4 R.E.A.L. Reading Engages Active Learning
A Quality Enhancement Plan at Robeson Community College
>>> On 4/13/2011 at 2:17 PM, in message <[log in to unmask]>, Craig Hancock <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
Geoff, Craig, Starting a sentence with because can be awkward. Agreed.
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