You can make a couple of suggestions to the student for revision.<br><br>The &quot;growing up&quot; doesn&#39;t work with &quot;remembered.&quot; He remembered them not <i>while </i>he was growing up but <i>from when</i> he was growing up. It probably needs recasting as something like &quot;Tim remembered those books from his childhood.&quot; Or &quot;Those books brought back childhood memories.&quot;<br>
<br>You are right that &quot;and also&quot; doesn&#39;t capture the relationship between the two clauses. If the watch was also something he remembered, he could make both the books and the watch objects: &quot;Tim remembered those books from his childhood and also a pocket watch at the bottom of the box complete with chain and front panel that flipped open to show its face.&quot; That&#39;s still a little clunky.  It might be best to divide it into two sentences:  &quot;Tim remembered those books from his childhood. He also found a pocket watch 
at the bottom of the box complete with chain and front panel that 
flipped open to show its face.&quot;<br><br>Dick<br><br><br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Mon, Sep 26, 2011 at 4:03 PM, John Chorazy <span dir="ltr">&lt;<a href="mailto:[log in to unmask]"><a href="/SCRIPTS/WA.EXE?LOGON=A3%3Dind1109%26L%3DATEG%26E%3Dquoted-printable%26P%3D2595680%26B%3D--0016e6d9990c72937d04adde4bd4%26T%3Dtext%252Fhtml%3B%2520charset%3DISO-8859-1%26pending%3D" target="_parent" >[log in to unmask]</a></a>&gt;</span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex;"><div>Good afternoon...  I&#39;d be grateful for your collective input on a student sentence:</div>
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<div>&quot;Tim remembered those books growing up and also at the bottom of the box was a pocket watch complete with chain and front panel that flipped open to show its face.&quot;</div>
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<div>A little context - Tim finds at a yard sale a box containing several items of interest, including a series of children&#39;s books he recalls reading (those books). </div>
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<div>I&#39;m concerned about &quot;and&quot; trying to connect two dissimilar thoughts into a compound sentence, but I also see a mixed voice here. Tim does the action in the first clause and then the pocket watch &quot;was at the bottom...&quot; in the second clause (passive?). I&#39;ve seen this construction more than a few times and want to address it effectively. </div>


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<div>Thank you...</div>
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<div><br>-- <br></div>
<div>John Chorazy</div>
<div>English III Honors and Academic</div>
<div>Pequannock Township High School</div>
<div><a href="tel:973.616.6000" value="+19736166000" target="_blank">973.616.6000</a><br></div></blockquote></div>
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