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Without getting into too much of a prescriptive-descriptive discussion, I
think your point about rhetorical effectiveness is what sticks with me
personally, in this case. There's a time and place for grammatical legalism
and poetry might not always be the fight to pick. Considering context the
sentence holds an iambic rhythm that makes sense remaining as is.

I could also see that adding "and" solves some issues - *There was a dream
I had and want to keep remembering and so / I write the image down - *though
I imagine some would still suggest a comma before and.

Thanks for your thoughts.



On Sat, Dec 6, 2014 at 7:55 PM, Karl Hagen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I think the problem is fundamentally definitional, and we may not all be
> on the same page with what we mean by “run-on."
>
> One very common understanding of the term is that it refers to a sentence
> with two or more main (independent) clauses that are not properly joined.
>
> And one common understanding of what constitutes “proper” joining is that
> you can separate those clauses with a period, a semicolon, or a comma + a
> conjunction (drawn from the FANBOYS, or FANBOY if you’re old fashioned,
> list). A FANBOYS word without the comma is not on the approved list of
> alternatives.
>
> If you accept that definition of a run-on and that list of rules, both of
> which are very widely taught, the sentence is a run-on, even if it’s
> rhetorically effective as it is.
>
> If you say no, it’s not a run-on, is that because you use a different
> punctuation rule? Do you perhaps accept the punctuation rules but have some
> different term for this pattern (e.g., fused sentence) that you consider to
> be distinct from the run-on? Or do you have a different understanding of
> what constitutes a run-on sentence altogether?
>
>
>
> > On Dec 6, 2014, at 11:12 AM, Linda Di Desidero <
> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
> >
> > Sounds like the kind of grammar feedback you might get from a machine
> reader! Definitely not a run-on. :)
> >
> > Linda
> >
> > Linda Di Desidero, PhD
> > Director, Leadership Communication Skills Center
> > Marine Corps University
> > Gray Research Center, Room 122
> > Quantico, Virginia 22134
> > 703-784-4401
> >
> > On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 10:04 PM, John Chorazy <
> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Vagaries... "two or more independent clauses in the sentence that need a
> period or semicolon," highlighting "remembering so". I agree that the
> sentence is formed just fine... just a missing comma before "so" which
> still doesn't make a run-on.
> >
> > On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 9:31 PM, Dick Veit <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Even if it were a run-on, it's a poem! . . . But all parts seem fully
> formed and properly connected. What are the specifics of the claim?
> >
> >
> >
> > On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 8:11 PM, John Chorazy <
> [log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > I've recently seen this sentence in a poem called a run-on and would
> dispute that claim. Any thoughts on a parsing would be appreciated.
> >
> > "There was a dream I had and want to keep remembering so / I write the
> image down, mindful that years from now nothing / will remain of it except
> this ink, and barely that."
> >
> > Thank you... enjoy the weekend.
> >
> >
> > --
> > John Chorazy
> > English III Honors, AP Lit
> > Advisor, Panther Press
> > Pequannock Township High School
> > 973.616.6000
> >
> >
> > Noli Timere
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> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > John Chorazy
> > English III Honors, AP Lit
> > Advisor, Panther Press
> > Pequannock Township High School
> > 973.616.6000
> >
> >
> > Noli Timere
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-- 
John Chorazy
English III Honors, AP Lit
Advisor, *Panther Press*
Pequannock Township High School
973.616.6000


Noli Timere

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