Without getting into too much of a prescriptive-descriptive discussion, I think your point about rhetorical effectiveness is what sticks with me personally, in this case. There's a time and place for grammatical legalism and poetry might not always be the fight to pick. Considering context the sentence holds an iambic rhythm​ that makes sense remaining as is.

I could also see that adding "and" solves some issues - There was a dream I had and want to keep remembering and so / I write the image down - though I imagine some would still suggest a comma before and.

Thanks for your thoughts.



On Sat, Dec 6, 2014 at 7:55 PM, Karl Hagen <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
I think the problem is fundamentally definitional, and we may not all be on the same page with what we mean by “run-on."

One very common understanding of the term is that it refers to a sentence with two or more main (independent) clauses that are not properly joined.

And one common understanding of what constitutes “proper” joining is that you can separate those clauses with a period, a semicolon, or a comma + a conjunction (drawn from the FANBOYS, or FANBOY if you’re old fashioned, list). A FANBOYS word without the comma is not on the approved list of alternatives.

If you accept that definition of a run-on and that list of rules, both of which are very widely taught, the sentence is a run-on, even if it’s rhetorically effective as it is.

If you say no, it’s not a run-on, is that because you use a different punctuation rule? Do you perhaps accept the punctuation rules but have some different term for this pattern (e.g., fused sentence) that you consider to be distinct from the run-on? Or do you have a different understanding of what constitutes a run-on sentence altogether?



> On Dec 6, 2014, at 11:12 AM, Linda Di Desidero <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> Sounds like the kind of grammar feedback you might get from a machine reader! Definitely not a run-on. :)
>
> Linda
>
> Linda Di Desidero, PhD
> Director, Leadership Communication Skills Center
> Marine Corps University
> Gray Research Center, Room 122
> Quantico, Virginia 22134
> 703-784-4401
>
> On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 10:04 PM, John Chorazy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Vagaries... "two or more independent clauses in the sentence that need a period or semicolon," highlighting "remembering so". I agree that the sentence is formed just fine.​.. just a missing comma before "so" which still doesn't make a run-on.
>
> On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 9:31 PM, Dick Veit <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Even if it were a run-on, it's a poem! . . . But all parts seem fully formed and properly connected. What are the specifics of the claim?
>
>
>
> On Fri, Dec 5, 2014 at 8:11 PM, John Chorazy <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I've recently seen this sentence in a poem called a run-on and would dispute that claim. Any thoughts on a parsing would be appreciated.
>
> "There was a dream I had and want to keep remembering so / I write the image down, mindful that years from now nothing / will remain of it except this ink, and barely that."
>
> Thank you... enjoy the weekend.
>
>
> --
> John Chorazy
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> Pequannock Township High School
> 973.616.6000
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> John Chorazy
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John Chorazy
English III Honors, AP Lit
Advisor, Panther Press
Pequannock Township High School
973.616.6000
 
 
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