These are funny! Thanks! Beth Rapp Young, Ph.D. Associate Professor Department of English University of Central Florida P.O. Box 161346 12790 Aquarius Agora Dr. Orlando, FL 32816-1346 [log in to unmask] ________________________________________ From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar <[log in to unmask]> on behalf of John Chorazy <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Monday, March 12, 2018 10:34:04 AM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Fwd: Grammar Passing along a belated nod to National Grammar Day... A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. A bar was walked into by the passive voice. An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. A question mark walks into a bar? A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. A synonym strolls into a tavern. At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered. An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. A dyslexic walks into a bra. A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars. A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony. -- John Chorazy English III, AP Lit, AP Language Advisor, Panther Press and PTHS Book Club Pequannock Township High School 973.616.6000 Learning is a process, not an event. To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at: http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html<https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Flistserv.muohio.edu%2Farchives%2Fateg.html&data=02%7C01%7CBeth.Young%40UCF.EDU%7Caa186ed13095446b5eb208d588267d4a%7Cbb932f15ef3842ba91fcf3c59d5dd1f1%7C0%7C1%7C636564621254412243&sdata=4BbL90KP8LaimG%2FCJ5aYzpGGBncj7wv0aYxQP2gcOQA%3D&reserved=0> and select "Join or leave the list" Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/<https://na01.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fateg.org%2F&data=02%7C01%7CBeth.Young%40UCF.EDU%7Caa186ed13095446b5eb208d588267d4a%7Cbb932f15ef3842ba91fcf3c59d5dd1f1%7C0%7C1%7C636564621254412243&sdata=KWAPE8sHmT4AApo0eJEDU6v365vToNLbqVdfj%2FBc0Sc%3D&reserved=0> To join or leave this LISTSERV list, please visit the list's web interface at: http://listserv.muohio.edu/archives/ateg.html and select "Join or leave the list" Visit ATEG's web site at http://ateg.org/