The horse and mule live 30 years
And nothing know of wines and beers.
The goat and sheep at 20 die
And never taste of Scotch or Rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at 18 is mostly done
The dog at 15 cashes in
Without the aid of rum and gin
The cat in milk and water soaks
And then in 12 short years it croaks
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lay eggs for nogs, then dies at 10.
All animals are strictly dry:
They sinless live and swiftly die;
But sinful, ginful, rum soaked men
Survive for three score yaers and ten.
And some of them, a very few,
Stay pickled till they're 92.
Is not research a wonderful thing?
Arnold Silcock.