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>Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 14:18:28 -0500 (EST)
>From: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: The Word
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>Original-recipient: rfc822;[log in to unmask]
>
>My favorite so far:
>
>
>>> BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
>>>
>>> Bush to be smitten later today
>>>
>>> In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation,
>>> under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last
>>> night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George
>>> Bush.
>>>
>>> "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this
>>> morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not
>>> going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullshit."
>>>
>>> "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count
>>> in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly
>>> who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by
>>> exactly 20,219 votes."
>>>
>>> Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
>>> overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to
>>> Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing
>>> God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.
>>>
>>> "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign
>>> strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S.
>>> Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the
>>> constitution of the state of Florida."
>>>
>>> "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises
>>> ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
>>>
>>> God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct,
>>> explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no
>>> grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot."
>>>
>>> "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get
>>> real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name
>>> them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt,
>>> Ron..."
>>>
>>> Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W.
>>> Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him
>>> today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job,
>>> God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his
>>> wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the
>>> former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and
>
>>> afflicted him with deep boils.
>>>
>>> Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
>>>
>>> "And the best part is," God said, "everyone will blame the Greens!"
>