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If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. 

Maybe you have to know darkness before you can appreciate the light. 
I intend to live forever or die trying.     

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.    
Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment.  

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.   
This is the best kind of voyeurism, hearing joy from your neighbors.