while we're on this ...
ASTOR: Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your coffee.
CHURCHILL: Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it.
(Exchange between Astor and Winston Churchill at Blenheim Palace, c. 1912, quoted in Elizabeth Langhorne, Nancy Astor and her Friends)
Winston Churchill and George Bernard Shaw: Shaw had written a new play, and sent Churchill two tickets to the opening night performance, along with a note reading, 'Here are two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one.' Churchill, ever the wag, replied immediately with the following missive: 'Sorry, but I can't make it to the opening night performance. Please send me tickets to the second performance, if there is one.'
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From: Academy of Legal Studies in Business (ALSB) Talk [[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Henry Lowenstein [[log in to unmask]]
Sent: 09 June 2011 22:02
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Great Put Downs w/o 4-letter words
Laura,
The actual situation was between Winston Churhill and Lady Astor at a social event. Lady Astor said to Churchill, "Mr. Churchill you are drunk." To wit, Churchill responded, "Yes, madam and you are ugly, but I will be sober in the morning."
Some other favorites:
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions-the curtain was up." Groucho Marx
"A child of five could understand this, Send someone to fetch a child of five."
Groucho Marx
Bill Clinton when asked how he felt about the press: "That is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs."
The writer Ambrose Bierce in a book review of a book he did not like:
"The covers of this book are too far apart."
And so it goes! Enjoy
HL
Henry Lowenstein, PhD
Professor of Management and Law
E. Craig Wall Sr. College of Business Administration
Coastal Carolina University
P.O. Box 261954
Conway, SC 29528-6054 USA
(843) 349-2827 Office
(843) 349-2455 Fax
[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
www.coastal.edu<http://www.coastal.edu>
________________________________
From: Academy of Legal Studies in Business (ALSB) Talk [[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Ginger, Laura [[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:46 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Great Put Downs w/o 4-letter words
And isnt there something attributed to Churchill, who when being told by a woman You are drunk, supposedly said something like Yes, but in the morning I shall be sober, and you shall still be ugly.
Or something like that
..
Laura
From: Academy of Legal Studies in Business (ALSB) Talk [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Bagley, Connie
Sent: Thursday, June 09, 2011 3:18 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Great Put Downs w/o 4-letter words
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
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