Great call, Geoff--I think the given-new concept is exactly what's going on
here.  Thanks!
John

On Sat, Nov 28, 2015 at 10:35 AM, Geoffrey Layton <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:

> ... If you do all this, you might just wind up with a sentence fragment!
> Effective internet proofreading always occurs after the message has been
> sent.
>
> ------------------------------
> Date: Sat, 28 Nov 2015 09:30:43 -0600
> From: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Question
> To: [log in to unmask]
>
>
> John,
>
> The fact that it feels ungrammatical might stem from the fact that it
> violates the the "known/new" rule.  The piece of "known" information that
> controls the narrative is the date. So, if you put the "when" information
> first in a dependent clause (the first date), then create the "new
> information" (the effect = the embarrassment) followed by the cause (desire
> to be in control).
>
> *When you're on your first date, it can be really embarrassing to be so
> emotional because you feel you should be in control. *
>
>
> While other solutions you propose are certainly more than acceptable,
> teaching students to start a sentence with "When" (or "known") information
> seems to produce pretty good results (NOTE THE CONSTRUCTION OF THIS
> SENTENCE: DEPENDENT OR "KNOWN" INFORMATION FIRST, FOLLOWED BY THE NEW).
>
> Geoff Layton
>
> ------------------------------
> Date: Sat, 28 Nov 2015 08:37:29 -0500
> From: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Question
> To: [log in to unmask]
>
> I saw the following item on an exercise from Purdue's OWL:
>
> ____ 6. It can be really embarrassing to be so emotional. Especially when
> you are on your first date, you feel that you should be in control.
> Grammatically there is no fragment here.  But the 2nd sentence FEELS
> ungrammatical.  Is it just awkward or does it violate some rule?  The
> following permutations are fine:
> 6a.  It can be really embarrassing to be so emotional, especially when you
> are on your first date.  You feel that you should be in control.
> 6b.  It can be really embarrassing to be so emotional.  You feel that you
> should be in control, especially when you are on your first date.
> Thanks!
> John
>
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