I grew up with "slow on the uptake," but I've heard "upkeep" as well.

I also grew up saying, "I'll be back prently," which my college friends
found very odd at first, and I've already brought up the issue of "whole
nother."

I met a guy who dated a British girl who asked him once if he was "in the
mood with her" in a public place. When he looked confused and rather
embarrassed, she explained that it meant, "Are you angry with me?" At
another time, he told her a story and she asked, "Are you taking the piss?"
Turns out it meant, "Are you pulling my leg?"

I guess I strayed a bit into idioms there at the end, but those are my
malapropisms for the afternoon. I also once had to explain to a girl from
Germany what a "doofus" was; that was certainly interesting considering my
synonyms were "geek" and "nerd." A fun exercise, though.

- Allison

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