English unfortunately doesn't allow many easy workarounds for our gender agreement problems. The one you so aptly criticize here is an equal opportunity offensiveness. Instead of being inclusive it has the effect you describe of excluding.
An interesting case of a comparatively recent cultural sensitivity conflicting with what our language allows us to do.
Herb
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Linda Comerford
Sent: 2009-04-09 15:18
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Any member can give their opinion
Regarding the alternating "he" and "she," I found it confusing when an author writing a book about raising babies alternated gender references from one chapter to another. As a totally inexperienced new mom of a son, I found myself negating needed advice from the "female chapters" because they didn't seem to apply immediately to my male baby. The same was true when I used that book after my daughter was born a few years later although I did get to focus on the chapters I'd been tending to skip earlier. I worked around that to get the help I needed, but I kept having to tell myself, "This advice applies to boy and girl babies, so just read on." I soon ceased to be a fan of that approach.
Linda Comerford
Comerford Consulting
317.786.6404
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www.comerfordconsulting.com<http://www.comerfordconsulting.com/>
________________________________
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Patricia Lafayllve
Sent: Thursday, April 09, 2009 11:18 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Any member can give their opinion
It's very much a "work-around," but I've been known to use "he" in one sentence, and "she" in the next - thus removing the sexist implications of gendered pronoun trouble altogether. This way we're not using "their" as a singular, and we're still respecting the "inherent sexism of the English language" argument. Not a perfect solution, but the one I can best live with, right now...
-patty
________________________________
From: Assembly for the Teaching of English Grammar [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Paul E. Doniger
Sent: Thursday, April 09, 2009 5:48 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Any member can give their opinion
I find it acceptable in conversation (sometimes), but not in formal writing. My students (high school) have a very hard time with my "conservative" attitude about it. I don't find it easy to read "their," et al, as singular pronouns.
Paul D.
"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction" (_Twelfth Night_ 3.4.127-128).
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From: DD Farms <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Wednesday, April 8, 2009 10:33:14 PM
Subject: Any member can give their opinion
At 06:15 PM 4/8/2009, O'Sullivan, Brian P wrote:
> I was wondering whether list members find that it is now acceptable (or at least accepted in some circles) to use "they" or "their" as an alternative to constructions like "he or she" or "his or her"--that is, as a gender-neutral third-person pronoun (as in my subject line).
DD: HORROR! I demur. Keep those agreeable agreements amongst the components of the utterance.
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