I've used many similar headlines over the years, too. And for the record, My
list matches Dick Veit's (it's Reagan, not Clinton, with the budget).
Here are a few gems:
Drunk gets nine months in violin caseEnraged cow injures farmer with ax
Miners refuse to work after death
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Enjoy,
Paul
"If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable
fiction" (_Twelfth Night_ 3.4.127-128).
________________________________
From: Dick Veit <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Thu, April 28, 2011 5:08:50 PM
Subject: Re: Syntactic and Semantic humor
As for these being "All verified!" as 1998 headlines, several of them appear on
a list I first used in class discussions of ambiguity in the early 1980's. The
"verified" headline "Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead" appeared on my sheet
as "Reagan wins on budget, but more lies ahead," attributed to the (Blackfoot,
ID) Morning News, from 22 May 1981.
Some others that my students enjoyed are "Teachers Strike Annoying Students,"
"Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy," "Complaints about NBA referees growing
ugly," "Dead Expected to Rise," "Homosexual Loses Boy Scout Suit," and
"Columnist gets urologist in trouble with his peers." They were attributed to
various newspapers in 1979-1981, but I haven't personally verified their
authenticity.
Dick
On Thu, Apr 28, 2011 at 9:09 AM, Linda Di Desidero <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
Here are some cute headlines to use in grammar lessons, if anyone is interested!
>The humor, of course, hinges on several different sorts of grammatical and
>linguistic concepts...
>
>Linda
>
>
>BEST "HUMOROUS WITHOUT MEANING TO BE"
>NEWSPAPER HEADLINES OF 1998 (All verified!)
>
>1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
>2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
>3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
>5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
>6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
>7. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
>8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>9. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
>10. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
>11. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
>12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
>13. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
>14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
>16. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout
> Counter
>17. War Dims Hope for Peace
>18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a
> While
>19. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
>20. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
>21. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>22. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
>23. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>24. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>25. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>
>
>________________________________________
>Linda Di Desidero, Ph.D.
>Director, Communication Studies & Professional Writing
>University of Maryland University College
>School of Undergraduate Studies
>3501 University Boulevard East
>Adelphi, MD 20783-8083
>
>College English Association
>http://cea.stevensonuniversity.org/
>
>Maryland Communication Association
>http://www.marylandcomm.org/
>
>(240) 684-2830 (Department)
>(240) 684-2928 (Office)
>(240) 684-2995 (Fax)
>
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