I sounded snarky in my last email.  I'm sorry for that.  But you  
really are arrogantly dismissive of something I teach my students as  
a mini-lesson but do not require them to do in their essays.  I have  
seen better writing from them, and it is annoying to have such strong  
evidence be dismissed without much thought.  I do think you have not  
thought this through.

Susan


On May 20, 2009, at 7:57 PM, Susan van Druten wrote:

> On May 20, 2009, at 1:09 PM, Craig Hancock wrote:
>> You can certainly make the judgment that Ed's version shows more  
>> flexibility on the part of the writer, but it doesn't make it a  
>> better essay,
>
> Craig, it's clearly better.  You offer no evidence for why it is  
> worse or even equal.  Own up, dude:  It is clearly better, but,  
> yes, it still sucks.  Your tower is showing.
>
> The rest of your argument is irrelevant.  You are preaching to the  
> choir.  We do know what makes a good essay.  We know that varying  
> sentence starts is not a panacea.
>
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